Authors Note: This is kind of a rough draft so if anyone has any suggestions for this feel free to comment because it's open to changes. It was just kind something I threw together in like 15 minutes
When I was younger I knew my boundaries. I was realistic and a little shy. I never interrupted
my parents when they were talking. I used my manners, and I knew not to bother
my brothers when they had friends over. My career choices consisted of being a
teacher, or a doctor. I never went through a “Pop star” phase, and college was
a main priority. I never got detention, and rarely got in trouble. I was a
straight A student and I had to be the best at everything I did. No matter what
it took. Being the predictable average adult was my childhood dream. But, when I
was that age, there really wasn’t another option. It never crossed my mind that
if I really wanted to I could drop out of high school, and start my own band. I could go to Paris, meet the love of my life,
and marry him the next day. Or even move to Guatemala and make some new
friends. In my eyes, going to college, getting a degree, and getting married
was all it took to live a happy life. I thought being perfect was how you lived
life. But, its not. When I die, and I see my life flash before my eyes, I want
there to be memories. Not ones like, “Oh, my wedding day was nice” I want fun
memories. Moments that sucked when they were actually happening, but are the
best to look back on. I don’t want my life to be perfect anymore. I want to
make mistakes. I want to learn how it really is in the real world. Have
experiences. Be spontaneous. I want to be the type of person who is sitting in
their living room watching TV, and randomly decides to round of up friends and
go on a cross country road trip to Nevada. I don’t want my life planned out for
me. I don’t want a map, or a list of things I need to do. I want life to take
me wherever it wants me to go.
I don't want to force my life. I want to live it.
I don't want to force my life. I want to live it.
I really like the organization of this piece and how you looked back on your childhood. I guess a suggestion to add a little more body to it would be to somehow relate it to society or the real world. Maybe how Americans act, or how society influenced you to change mindsets like this. But overall, I think it's a really good piece!
ReplyDeleteI like the genuine feel of this piece and how easy it is for readers to connect to this piece. If you wanted to change some of the words you could, but I actually like them the way they are.. so disregard that I guess..(; Good job!
ReplyDeleteI definitely can connect. Really well written! I love the ending and how you started this piece. It's really funny how some people can just realize that they want to do something in there life. I totally agree that sometimes the best memories and the ones that are horrible when they happen but when you look back they are the best. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHaylie, my dear, I really like this piece. It's so emotional and true. The only suggestion I have is maybe put it into two different paragraphs, just to make the intensity, more there..? I don't know, it was really good.
ReplyDelete